Ciel Phantomhive, Life without death
by mollis-mauris
Summary: It's all over now. He has won eternal life, his demon butler by his side. But it's not that easy.. leaving everything you ever loved to die. His faithful servants, his fiance, his lifestyle, all dragged away by passing time. But in the end, is he really alone?
1. Prologue

It has been a while since I've felt this. I do not know exactly how long, but I know it has been a while. Ever since my parents died, I have felt nothing; Nothing but anger. Anger at the people who killed my parents. Anger at the men that hurt me. Anger at my parents for leaving me. But mostly, I was angry at myself. Because no matter how hard I try, I will always be just a kid. Nobody will ever take me seriously. Nobody will look up to me. Nobody will ever count on me because I am, and forever will be, a child. Now all I feel is hopelessness. I don't know what to do. I can not ask for help. Who would ever believe me? They would throw me in an asylum, calling me crazy. Calling me a sociopath. They would say I was traumatized, my parents deaths causing me to become insane, but no, I am not crazy. I am not insane. I am just cursed. Cursed to wander the earth for all eternity, watching the world waste away. Cursed to watch my friends, one by one, disappear, their bodies six feet underground. Cursed in this body, this child body, that will never change. I will never grow. I will never love. I will never die.

I am Ciel Phantomhive, and I am a demon.


	2. My life, I hate it

Chapter 1:

I heaved a sigh, dropping the teacup on the floor, its beautiful porcelain pieces spreading themselves across the recently cleaned floor. The tea slowly began to spread, coating the floor with the color red. I eyed the demon butler, who was standing on the opposing side of the room. He never showed any emotion, I hate it. I hate how I can never tell what he is thinking, what he is feeling. I hate it so, so much.

"Sebastian," I started. "Clean this right away. The floor is going to get sticky." I glared at the raven demon as he slowly bowed, showing no expression, and began to walk towards the mess I made.

"Yes, my lord." He answered simply. He always said that. Even after so long, he always acted so, blank. Blank expression, blank everything. I hate it, I hate how I can never tell what he's really thinking.

It has been 50 years since I have become a demon. The world is quickly changing, technology is advancing, but not me. I am still that thirteen year old boy that I was 50 years ago. Sebastian and I now live in the United States, after leaving London years ago. I live in a nice quiet manor, not as big as the one in London, but big enough to feel like a home. Sebastian wanted to make the decor identical to the manor in London, but I simply refused. I escaped that place for a reason. I left it all behind for a reason. I do not want to live with the memory of my parents anymore. I just want to start anew, start a new life with Sebastian at my side. I want him to be by my side forever, but I ask myself sometimes if he would want the same.

"Sebastian," I speak softly, not wanting to ruin this. I want a real answer, the truth. "How do you feel about being my butler forever?" the butler looked up at me, stopping his work and staring at me slightly confused. He smiled slightly, looking down and continuing to make me tea.

"I am your servant for all eternity, there is nothing I can do." I but my lip in anger. He always does this! He always ignores my questions. I hate it, I hate it so much. I hate everything he does, but I could never hate him. I feel.. something, something I can not explain. And I hate it, because even if I do speak up about my feelings, my strange feeling, I know he would never return them. I hate this, I hate it all, I hate myself, but mostly, I hate my never-ending, immortal life. God, why am I such a kid?

I am so sorry you guys. I know this sucks. I had to come up with something I did not want to leave you empty-handed. Meh, I'm glad some of you enjoyed my prologue, thanks for the reviews. They help out a lot!


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